A shield with a young child's silhouette holding it

How to Teach a 9-Year-Old to Respond to Social Media Harassment

Social media has become an integral part of our everyday lives, offering countless opportunities for connection and communication. But it also brings with it a dark side: social media harassment. This is an issue that affects individuals of all ages, including children as young as nine years old. As a parent or guardian, it is vital to equip your child with the tools and knowledge to respond effectively to social media harassment. In this article, we will explore different aspects of this topic and provide practical strategies for teaching your child how to navigate the online world with confidence and resilience.

Understanding Social Media Harassment

Before delving into how to teach your child to respond to social media harassment, it’s important to have a clear understanding of what it entails. Social media harassment refers to the use of digital platforms to intimidate, threaten, or belittle someone. It can take various forms, such as:

  • Cyberbullying: the targeted and repeated use of digital communication to harm or harass an individual.
  • Trolling: deliberately posting inflammatory or offensive comments online to provoke others.
  • Exclusion: purposefully leaving someone out of group chats or online activities.
  • Impersonation: pretending to be someone else online to deceive or harm others.

The impact of social media harassment on children is profound and can have lasting effects on their emotional well-being. Famous Pediatrician Dr. Benjamin Spock once stated that “children who experience social media harassment may suffer from low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression.”

When it comes to cyberbullying, it is important to understand that it can occur through various digital platforms, such as social networking sites, instant messaging apps, online gaming platforms, and even email. The anonymity provided by these platforms often emboldens individuals to engage in harassing behavior without fear of immediate consequences.

Cyberbullying can take many forms, including sending threatening or derogatory messages, spreading rumors or false information, sharing embarrassing photos or videos, and even creating fake profiles to harass others. The impact of these actions on a child’s mental health cannot be overstated.

Trolling, on the other hand, is a form of online harassment that is often driven by the desire to provoke a reaction from others. Trolls intentionally post inflammatory or offensive comments with the goal of eliciting strong emotional responses from their targets. This behavior can create a toxic online environment and make individuals feel unsafe or unwelcome.

Exclusion, although less overtly aggressive than cyberbullying or trolling, can be just as damaging. Being purposefully left out of group chats or online activities can make a child feel isolated and rejected. The constant feeling of being excluded can lead to feelings of loneliness and a negative self-image.

Impersonation is another form of social media harassment that involves pretending to be someone else online. This deceptive behavior can be used to manipulate or harm others. Impersonators may use someone else’s identity to spread false information, damage reputations, or engage in malicious activities. The psychological impact of being deceived by an impersonator can be devastating.

It is crucial for parents and guardians to be aware of these different forms of social media harassment and their potential consequences. By understanding the various ways in which individuals can be targeted online, parents can better equip themselves to support and protect their children.

Furthermore, it is important to note that social media harassment is not limited to children. Adults can also be victims of online harassment, and the effects can be just as detrimental. By fostering a safe and respectful online environment, we can work towards minimizing the prevalence of social media harassment and its negative impact on individuals of all ages.

Educating Your Child about Social Media Harassment

Now that you understand the nature and impact of social media harassment, it’s time to educate your child on this topic. Remember, discussions about online safety should be age-appropriate, ensuring that your child can fully comprehend the concepts without feeling overwhelmed.

One effective way to approach this is by using metaphors to simplify complex ideas. For example, you could explain to your child that social media is like a virtual playground, where people interact and have fun. However, just like on a real playground, there can be bullies and mean kids. By equipping your child with this analogy, they can better grasp the potential risks associated with social media.

Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, a renowned pediatrician, once emphasized the importance of teaching children about the consequences of their actions. By explaining to your child how their words or actions can impact someone’s feelings, you can help them develop empathy and understanding. This can involve discussing real-life examples or sharing stories of how others have been affected by online harassment, reinforcing the idea that their words and actions matter.

Furthermore, it is crucial to educate your child about the importance of privacy settings on social media platforms. Explain to them that just like they wouldn’t want strangers to have access to their personal belongings, they should be cautious about sharing personal information online. Teach them how to set strong passwords and the importance of not sharing them with anyone, even their closest friends.

In addition to privacy settings, discuss the concept of consent with your child. Help them understand that it is essential to ask for permission before sharing someone else’s photos or personal information online. Encourage them to think about how they would feel if someone shared their private information without their consent, and how it can cause harm and distress to others.

Another crucial aspect to educate your child about is the importance of reporting and blocking individuals who engage in harassment or bullying online. Teach them how to recognize inappropriate behavior and how to report it to the appropriate authorities or social media platforms. Explain that by reporting such behavior, they are not only protecting themselves but also helping to create a safer online environment for others.

It is also essential to discuss the potential long-term consequences of social media harassment. Explain to your child that what they post online can stay there forever, even if they delete it later. Discuss how inappropriate or hurtful content can affect their reputation, future opportunities, and relationships. Encourage them to think before they post and remind them that once something is shared online, it can be challenging to control who sees it.

Lastly, foster open communication with your child about their online experiences. Encourage them to come to you if they encounter any form of harassment or feel uncomfortable with something they see or experience online. Assure them that you are there to support and guide them through any challenges they may face in the digital world.

Setting Boundaries and Privacy Settings

Ensuring your child’s safety online starts with setting boundaries and adjusting privacy settings on their social media accounts. It is crucial to explain to your child why privacy is important, comparing it to closing the blinds in their bedroom or locking the door to keep unwanted visitors out.

Referring to expert advice from Obstetrician Dr. Laura Riley, you should guide your child through the process of adjusting privacy settings on popular social media platforms. Teach them to limit access to their profile information, photos, and posts to friends only. By doing so, they can have a sense of control over who can see their personal information and content. Reinforce the importance of not accepting friend requests or engaging in conversations with strangers, as this can potentially put them at risk.

While it is important to monitor your child’s online activity, it is equally important to respect their privacy. Dr. Spock suggests finding a balance between monitoring and not invading their privacy, comparing it to keeping an eye on them while they play in the backyard without hovering over their every move. By establishing open communication with your child, you create a safe space for them to feel comfortable discussing any concerns or issues that may arise.

One way to ensure your child’s privacy is by setting up parental controls on their devices. These controls can help you manage and restrict their access to certain websites or apps that may not be suitable for their age. Additionally, you can set time limits on their screen time to ensure they are not spending excessive amounts of time online.

Another aspect of setting boundaries is discussing the importance of not sharing personal information online. Teach your child to be cautious about sharing their full name, address, phone number, or any other identifying information on social media platforms. Emphasize that this information should only be shared with trusted individuals in real-life situations.

Furthermore, it is essential to educate your child about the potential consequences of posting inappropriate or harmful content online. Explain to them that once something is shared on the internet, it can be difficult to completely remove or control who sees it. Encourage them to think before they post and consider the long-term implications of their online actions.

Lastly, staying updated on the latest trends and features of social media platforms can help you guide your child in adjusting their privacy settings effectively. Social media platforms often introduce new features or change their privacy settings, so it is important to stay informed and adapt accordingly.

Developing Effective Responses to Social Media Harassment

Teaching your child how to respond to social media harassment is key in empowering them to navigate these challenging situations. By encouraging open communication, you create a safe space for them to share their experiences without fear of judgment or blame.

Help your child recognize the signs of harassment, such as hurtful comments or repeated exclusion. Teach them not to engage with bullies or trolls. Rather, they should report the harassment to you or a trusted adult. Dr. Brazelton emphasizes that involving parents or teachers can help address the issue promptly and effectively.

Another important strategy is to equip your child with coping mechanisms to deal with online bullies and trolls. Just as they would ignore a mosquito buzzing around their ear, teach them to ignore hurtful comments online. Dr. Riley suggests explaining that responding to negativity rarely helps, and it’s best to block or unfriend individuals who engage in harassing behavior. This metaphorical approach helps children understand that not all battles are worth fighting.

Furthermore, encourage your child to focus on positive interactions and engage in activities that boost their self-esteem outside of social media. Famous psychologist Dr. Martin Seligman once said, “By nurturing their talents and staying connected to supportive friends and activities, children can build resilience against social media harassment.”

One effective coping mechanism is to encourage your child to practice self-care. Engaging in activities that they enjoy and that make them feel good about themselves can help counteract the negative effects of social media harassment. Encourage them to pursue hobbies, sports, or creative outlets that allow them to express themselves and build their confidence. By focusing on their passions and talents, they can find a sense of fulfillment and purpose that can serve as a buffer against online negativity.

Additionally, it is important to teach your child about the power of empathy and kindness. Encourage them to treat others with respect and compassion, both online and offline. By fostering a culture of empathy, your child can contribute to creating a positive and supportive online community. Remind them that their words and actions have an impact on others, and that by spreading kindness, they can help combat the negativity that often arises on social media platforms.

Furthermore, it is crucial to educate your child about the importance of digital literacy and critical thinking. Help them develop the skills to evaluate the credibility of information they come across online. Teach them to question and verify the sources of information before accepting them as truth. By equipping them with these skills, you empower them to navigate the online world with confidence and discernment, reducing the likelihood of falling victim to harassment or misinformation.

Lastly, maintaining open lines of communication with your child is essential. Regularly check in with them about their online experiences, and encourage them to share any concerns or incidents of harassment they may encounter. By actively listening and validating their feelings, you create a supportive environment where they feel comfortable seeking guidance and support. Remember, your role as a parent or guardian is to be their advocate and ally, helping them navigate the complexities of the digital world.


Teaching a nine-year-old to respond to social media harassment is a challenging but necessary task in today’s digital age. By understanding the nature of social media harassment, educating your child about its impact, and equipping them with practical strategies, you can empower them to navigate the online world with confidence and resilience. Remember, open communication, setting boundaries, and encouraging empathy and understanding are the building blocks to help your child respond effectively to social media harassment. Together, we can create a safe and inclusive online environment for our young ones to grow and thrive.